When the work continues.

Photo by Jopeel Quimpo on Unsplash

The last session I had was in 2018.

About to move back home to the UK, I felt in no way healed from the things that had happened. Sure, I was able to go about my day, continue my work, arrange moving companies and enjoy time with friends. But I wasn’t over anything. I’m still not.

Occasionally, under the warm shower in my little flat, I’ll have an emotional flashback, need to calmly talk myself down so I can wash the conditioner out of my hair and walk it off.

Sometimes the dreams are so damning…


Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

Loneliness is endemic. Despite — and I can’t repeat this outdated line enough — how “connected” we are globally, research screams daily that we are just not feeling it.

Being lonely can detrimentally affect your mental health. You don’t need to be surrounded by crowds of people — that’s…that’s not how it works and is also my nightmare. You’re reading the thoughts of someone who loves alone time (But that’s not lonely time). I’m talking about having meaningful, reciprocal relationships with other people.

In mental health care, we’re supposed to know this inherently. …


What we got wrong, what we know but aren’t saying and what we can do from now.

Photo by J W on Unsplash

To be diagnosed with BPD, you need to have 5 out of 9 traits. At least, that’s what you’re told. The folks who decided on the 5/9 criteria left out crucial information on their decision-making process — that the number is completely arbitrary.


The client who rebelled against herself.

“A female walking by a yellow lined texture building wall” by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

I used to be so well-behaved.” she said, rolling down the passenger window and lighting a cigarette, her odd-socked feet resting on my dashboard.

One of my favorite cases as a support worker was a 40-year-old lady who had sustained a brain injury a few years prior to us meeting.

Our weekly visits were to check her house was in order — it always was — and to take her to the supermarket.

My kids love the new me…” she laughed, “Or they’re too afraid to talk back.”

Damage to several areas of her brain, including the frontal lobe, had…


Being Wrong is the new Being Right

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

Everyone wants to be infallible, I get it.

Having All The Answers

“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” — Socrates.

I believe you don’t have to know all the answers. You don’t have to be right all the time. You do not have to be flawless.

In Japan it makes people jump in front of trains or go hang themselves in a forest, or snap and kill a bunch of people. Who I am kidding, this deep-rooted necessity for perfection makes suicide and homicide levels in every country rise.

Nothing that we…


The stark history of Welsh and diversity.

Photo by Rob on Unsplash

I speak Welsh.

These days that means I speak a useless language that nobody thinks is cool, fashionable or worth saving. But the history of my country’s language is filled with times when it was not only not useful, but downright illegal.

The Welsh NOT

In the 18th and 19th Century, children at school were punished for speaking Welsh. English was considered the standard for education.

A piece of wood inscribed with the letters ‘WN’ would be hung around the child’s neck until they heard a classmate speak in Welsh. …


The unthinkable events that unfurled during Jeffrey Dahmer’s adult years cannot be explained solely by this movie, nor the graphic novel that inspired it.

Calm a Dahmer Down

It offers, however, an insight into how missing the building blocks for societal integration, predispositions and isolation can be a recipe for chaos.

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It’s always the quiet ones’, my mother used to whisper to me throughout my childhood. That probably being why she was so disappointed that I was quiet too.

Watching My Friend Dahmer took me back to my youth. The misunderstanding, the isolation and the relief at finding a group to socialize with. Fortunately, things turned out more stable for me.

Dahmer’s parents play off as unsupportive, distracted, even violent towards each other. The father tries whenever…


When your thoughts are running at the speed of light, what can you do?

“A woman wearing a braid in her hair is leaning against a brick wall, praying” by Ben White on Unsplash

If you’ve never had a panic attack, believe me when I say this — you do not understand what it is like. That’s without offense or superiority. There is no feeling like it.

I will never understand what it feels like to be kicked in the balls. We have to be grateful sometimes for the things we can’t experience.

Your first attack might lead you to believe you are dying — maybe it’s a heart attack. If you’ve grown up with them you’ll know that your worry about dying disappears, only to be replaced by the unrelenting feeling that if…


One famous study cemented the belief that Psychopathy can’t be treated— but it was wrong.

Photo by Karim Ghantous on Unsplash

We know what the general media does with scientific research. That’s why my parents continually tell me that coffee will both give me cancer and cure my cancer on any given day. So when you take a study that offers bold statistics on a serious psychological issue you can be sure that those same publications:

  1. Will not have read the study
  2. Will draw the same black and white conclusions about psychopaths as coffee.

Unfortunately, the blowback from this particular study had most of us convinced, myself included. …


“Silhouette of a woman standing alone at sunset” by Maranatha Pizarras on Unsplash

Always wondered why I’m so afraid of robots, but one reason is that they do it so much better than I. I am a perfectionist. Trained from birth to reject my own humanity.

Making mistakes is unacceptable. Severely punished. It doesn’t matter how you feel, it matters what you did. And if what you did came from a place that wasn’t pure, you have failed. You are unsalvageable.

When I feel joy, I don’t analyze it. I do not over-think. Having fun with friends, sharing a joke with someone, going on an adventure. My mind does not take time out…

Emma

Psychology Researcher interested in Personality Disorders / ASD / Forensics. I love Science and Science Fiction, but I get most excited when they meet.

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